


All I Ask

by ASnackForAlways



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24776617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASnackForAlways/pseuds/ASnackForAlways
Summary: "Thomas... He's... Harvey, I have a boyfriend." "I know. I'm saying you could have a husband." How does Donna react? What does she feel? Read more in this one shot inspired by one of my favorite GA scenes
Relationships: Donna Paulsen/Harvey Specter
Kudos: 6





	All I Ask

It all started when a certain redhead approached him at a bar almost 15 years ago. From the moment their eyes met, he knew that he was screwed. Or so he thought. Judging by the rapidly beating heart and drops of sweat falling down his back, Harvey knew that the redhead before him meant trouble. Even though he didn't know her name - or anything about her for that matter - yet.

Once she said that she wanted to work with him their journey began.

Over the years they got to know everything about each other - their weaknesses, strengths, quirks, everything they didn't share with others...

They became close. So much so, that people around them started placing bets on when they would cross the line.

Though, what no one knew is that they already crossed that line. It was years ago and only for one damn night. Yet it was the best night in Harvey Specter's life and he couldn't stop thinking about it since.

That was slowly becoming a problem. Why? Simply because throughout the years he was in relationships where this particular detail prevented him from taking the next step. The only woman who came close to being something more was Scottie. But that didn't work out.

Then he tried with Zoey, but that didn't work out either.

After that, he tried to move on again, date and forget about his feelings. Which might have worked for a minute, when he was dating Paula but then something happened - again. Something that changed his mind. Donna had kissed him out of the clear blue sky.

Once their lips met, Harvey's consciousness was brought back in time to a night full of passion, freckles, strawberries, and whipped cream.

As much as he tried to deny it, every relationship that he had been in had ended because his mind - and heart - was too preoccupied with someone else. A beautiful redhead with hazel eyes. One that was in a relationship with a client, now.

From the moment they met he became protective of her - to a point where every boyfriend that she had, he'd tried to interrogate and scare. Sometimes it worked and sometimes Donna just threatened him to leave her alone.

Then Thomas Kessler came into her life. He was their client for years. A good guy, Harvey thought. But then he overheard as Thomas asked Donna out on a date. Hearing her say yes surprised him.

Why? Because, for years, she was adamant about sticking to her rule of not dating men that she works with.

Then why does it seem that she broke that rule for everyone but him?

That's right. Harvey Specter was jealous. Jealous that he has been by her side for years and she couldn't even try to break a rule for him. One goddamn rule.

He broke plenty of rules for her. He always did. Simply, because she was different. She was kind, courageous, ambitious, funny, but most of all she was the one that got away. Just because he was too stupid to not see what's been right in front of him for years didn't mean that he didn't feel something.

Because he did.

For years, he has loved her. He tried to ignore his feelings. But suppressing them only made his love for her grow stronger. Every moment, conversation and look shared between them made something ignite inside of him.

And that's why her being in a relationship with Thomas bothered him.

The fact that Donna was dating someone else other than him was bothering him. Seeing that guy every day at the office, waiting for Donna to take him home with her, bothered him.

And today was no different.

Which brought him here, in the confines of his living room with a glass of Macallan 18 in his hand, thinking about all the what ifs that could've been if he wasn't such an idiot.

"Love me how?"

That was the first time she surprised him and put him on the spot.

If only he could have told her then. If only he wasn't too stubborn. If only...

They could've been together already. Happily married with a baby on the way.

But he had to be an idiot about it and ignore his feelings.

Taking a hold of his scotch, Harvey takes it to his mouth but instead of taking a gulp, something inside him snaps - as if all of the feelings he suppressed for years came to the surface at once and took over him - and he throws the glass into the unknown space of his apartment.

Breaking out of his trance he rushes to the shards of glass and kneels down, trying to clean up the mess that he made - cutting his hand in the process.

Seeing droplets of blood falling down his palm he finally breaks down. Everything just taking a toll on him. Wiping away the tears with his good hand, he makes his way to the bathroom to take care of his bleeding hand. Then he makes his way to the bedroom - ready to be swallowed by the darkness of his dreams.

A few weeks filled with a lot of teasing, pleasure and awesome dates. That's how long it took Donna to know that Thomas Kessler wasn't the one. He was tall, handsome, quick-witted, smart and most of all not complicated.

He made her feel free and loved.

Something she hasn't felt in a long time. While all her past relationships were all great in their own way, none of them were serious enough. Though there was Mark, who got pretty close. But she wasn't ready.

Then years have passed, and relationships did too and Donna realized one thing.

She was done trying to find the right man. But then Thomas came around. Even though he appeared to have checked off all the boxes, there was one thing he didn't accomplish.

He wasn't the one. None of them were.

And that bothered her. Why? Because she couldn't stay in a long term relationship without feeling like she was cheating on them.

Did that make her a fool? Probably. But she couldn't help it that her heart was already spoken for.

And instead of pursuing a relationship with the person that she wanted to be with, she has been hiding in these relationships. Relationships that she thought would mend her broken heart that Harvey once broke.

Harvey. One look at him, years ago, was enough to make her attracted to him.

Then, over the years, as they got to know each other more, her love for him grew stronger.

Then things happened. Like them crossing the line, dating other people or her leaving him for Louis and all of the betweens that led her here. To a place where she was too tired of searching and just ready to settle down.

And right now that was Thomas. Who, for the past few days, had been picking her up from work without anyone knowing.

No, she wasn't ashamed of their relationship. But she liked the fact that her private life was separated from her work life. Which is why she never brought a guy she was seeing to the firm or even a firm event.

As much as she tried to deny it, she knew that the reason for that was Harvey.

It was always him.

Ever since her eyes spotted him at the bar, years ago, surrounded by other lawyers, she knew that he was different. That he was worth knowing. And over the years her gut instinct proved to be right.

Harvey was one of the most passionate, true, hardworking men she has ever met. The protectiveness he felt over people that were close to him was also something Donna admired very much.

Throughout the years her feelings have grown so much for the man that he has become, which is why it was heartbreaking when she found out about Paula.

In all the years that she has known him, not one girlfriend of his had bothered her as much as Paula. For a therapist, she was truly something else. The way that she had tried to change Harvey and his manners did not sit right with Donna.

Which is why she was glad when their relationship ended.

But then, when they both were single, Thomas Kessler came into her life. As much as she didn't want to, she settled for the safer option. Yes, Thomas was that. He was safe, available and ready, but then Harvey was the one her heart wanted for over a decade…

Dismissing her thoughts before her mind spirals further and she needs a bottle of wine, Donna looks at the time - 8 pm. Being done with her final assignment, she decides that it's time to go home. Shutting down her computer and collecting her things, she makes her way towards the elevators - stopping at the reception to leave some papers there, she heads for the elevator.

"Hey." Hearing his voice Donna stops in her tracks and turns around.

"Hey."

"I just wanted you to know.." Harvey tries to say before Donna interrupts him. "Scottie called to thank me, Harvey."

Harvey's surprised. He didn't expect this. "That's funny. She just called me."

"Well, I guess she's grateful to both of us." Donna assumes.

"I guess so." Mustering up the courage, Harvey asks her: "Did she say something to you about.."

"About what?" Donna wonders. Did she tell him the same thing?

"Nevermind.." Harvey's quick dismissal doesn't surprise her at this point. Which is why she repeats her question. Harvey, being Harvey, stays quiet.

"Harvey?" She's met with silence again. Wanting to be home already, Donna starts to get frustrated. "Harvey, I swear to God -"

"I'm still in love with you." Harvey almost shouts. "Okay?" Sighing, he continues "There. I said it."

"What?"

"I love you. I tried not to, but it didn't work. Paula's gone, there's nothing holding me back. I'm finally ready. I don't want to waste another second not knowing what a relationship with you looks like. I want to give us a chance." Pausing to take a deep breath, Harvey looks at her with those chocolate brown eyes of his. "I still love you, Donna."

Donna's speechless. She doesn't know what to say. All these years he had a chance to say something… All these years, and now is the time he chooses to do it? Why?

"Thomas... He's... Harvey, I have a boyfriend."

"I know. I'm saying you could have a husband." Before she has a chance to reply, the elevator dings, interrupting them.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Harvey."

Sighing, Donna makes her way towards the elevator, ready to step in. Before the door closes, she takes a last look at him. Once the door closes, the tears she had tried to keep at bay finally break free and start falling down her cheeks.

For months he had tried to find the right moment to finally say what he was feeling towards her. Every day he had tried to find the courage to just find the right words and say that he's in love with her. For months he had tried to come up with the right scenario - what he would say, how he would say it… Then this happened. Why did he stay silent? Why?

"You look lost."

Hearing Samantha's voice Harvey turns around. "I was just um…"

"Do you wanna wait here or go for some drinks?"

Looking at the elevator and then back at Samantha, Harvey says: "Samantha I'm so sorry, but I have to go."

"Where?"

"I just have to." With that Harvey rushes towards the incoming elevator.

On her way home, Donna's thoughts have been all over the place.

What will she do? Who does she chose?

There's Thomas, who - despite their short time - has grown on her. He's definitely someone she could see herself having a future with. But it's still too early to tell where things are headed with them.

And then there's Harvey, who she has known for almost two decades. He was such an important part of her life and she couldn't cut him out of it in a matter of seconds - even if she wanted to, which she didn't.

Struggling to find the right answer Donna sighed as she pulled out her phone out of her purse and dialed the number of the person she wanted to speak with immediately. After three rings it went to voicemail. Not wanting to lay everything out in the voicemail, Donna ended the call and leaned her head on the cab's window as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

Finally stepping off the elevator, Donna makes her way towards her apartment. After unlocking the door, she crosses the threshold and makes her way towards the couch where she breaks down.

As much as she tried to fight it, her heart had won and she knew that no matter how much she tried, Harvey was the one.

He always was, but today only confirmed it. Hearing him say those words felt awesome, but oddly heartbreaking. For years she had dreamed about this - about him fighting for everything that happened in his heart.

For years she had a rule about not getting involved with a coworker, but if she was being honest, that rule was there mainly because she didn't trust herself. Yes, she had said, after the other time, that they put it out of their minds and never mention it again. That didn't work because since then Donna was always thinking about it. About them. About what could've been.

And that is why she's here, sitting on her couch with a phone in her hand, contemplating whether or not to change everything with one call. Even though they had been seeing each other for a few weeks, Donna knew that these past few days have been weird between them. Thomas usually spent the nights at her place, but this week he's been distant. Or maybe she was. She didn't know - too overwhelmed with emotion at the moment.

He was a great guy, but the circumstances were different now. Her heart was too occupied to allow another one in. And that's why she wanted to break up with him, even though it pained her to do so. Which is why, after avoiding him for two days, she had asked him to lunch today.

But it seems like the universe is one step ahead of her when her phone rings.

"Thomas?"

"I'm sorry I didn't call you back earlier Donna. I had some business matters to attend to." Hearing his voice makes her regret the words that come out of her mouth."Thomas, you're such a good man.."

"You don't have to soft pedal it Donna. Nobody goes from spending their nights together to lunch.."

"There's so many things I want to say about you.." Donna says.

"Maybe another time." They both know that that won't happen.

"Take care, Thomas."

"Goodbye Donna." With that Donna puts her phone on the table before her, but before she can go back to her time on her couch, a knock on the door interrupts her.

Rolling her eyes because she suspects who it might be, Donna makes her way towards the front door and opens it.

"What are you doing here Harvey?" He can tell that she's annoyed, but he ignores it."I'm here to tell you that I love you. I have loved you from the moment I met you. I just didn't know how to access it yet because I wasn't ready.."

With a frustrated sigh Donna lets him in. Closing the door, she turns to him and wonders: "You're ready now? All of a sudden?! Just like that?"

Taking a deep breath, Harvey continues: "You're one of the most amazing women I've ever met I can't pretend that I don't love you. And I'm so tired of being just your friend, when all I want to do is be more. All these years, I was so scared of crossing the line - of being worthy. But these past few weeks have taught me that if I don't do something about it, I'll lose you to someone else. And maybe that's already happening, but what if I never find love again? I want to be worthy of your love. I want to be worth-"

Before he could finish his speech, Donna interrupts him by crashing her lips against his. She can feel Harvey's body tense up, so she decides to put her arms around his neck, her fingers brushing against his hair, gently playing with it.

It seems like that does the trick, because after the initial shock, the feel of her silky lips overwhelms him and he finally melts into the kiss. Feeling his arms travelling down her arms, around her waist, gently squeezing, Donna smiles. Her arms wander from his hair to his shoulders, finally stopping at his chest where she gently pushes him away.

Seeing Harvey's questioning gaze, Donna smiles and cups his face into her hands. "You're worthy, Harvey. You've always been. And I don't want you thinking otherwise, okay? Because if we're going to make this work, then you need to have faith in yourself. Just like I've always had faith in you."

Harvey frowns. "What do you mean if we're going to make this work?" But then a realization strikes him. "You're with Thomas."

Donna shakes her head."Not anymore."

"Is it because-" Before Harvey can finish, Donna interrupts him. "No."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

"For you to shut up and kiss me."

Without replying, Harvey grabs her waist and pulls her flush against him as he connects their lips in a passionate kiss.


End file.
